I Walk Alone
by Kodokunatsuki
Summary: Songfic! Various Bleach characters, starting with Ichigo and ending with Aizen, reflect on their past and how they came to be alone even with the multitude of people around them.


I WALK ALONE

A Bleach Songfic

Song: Boulevard of Broken Dreams

The first time I heard this song, I immediately though, "Oh, this completely reminds me of Bleach." I was originally going to do this songfic with just Renji, but then I wanted to use the same song for Aizen, and Ichigo, and Grimmjow, and… well, I decided just to do eight drabbles for each stanza (?) of the song. The first one will be Ichigo (of course), the Renji, then Grimmjow. Aizen will be last. I'm not sure who's going to be after Grimmjow, so any suggestions are welcome. I need four more people. Maybe, like, Ulqiorra, or Byakuya, or Uryu?

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or "Boulevard of Broken Dreams". Those are the property of Tite Kubo and Green Day.

Reveiws make me very happy .

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_I walk a lonely road_

_The only one that I have ever known_

_Don't know where it goes_

_But it's home to me and I walk alone_

It wasn't as if he had ever really physically been alone. Sure, he walked home alone, spent a lot of his time up in his room, but Ichigo had a home, a family, a circle of friends. But he distanced himself emotionally from all. Ever since he had killed his mother.

The day still haunted him in his dreams. He never screamed, but he would wake up feeling unbearably empty. Many times, he heard the ghost of raindrops on the roof, saw them falling, but when he blinked they were gone. His dreams were not vivid, instead fluid, hidden things, darkness claiming most of his vision, an image, a memory, occasionally drifting up, the dark sky, the high, rushing grey of the swollen river, the seemingly innocent and harmless girl, the monster that lurked behind her, cold wetness hitting his skin, a claw piercing his chest, a heavy, cooling body above him, a hilt falling from his hand, his mothers voice, screaming for him to wait, then murmuring his name, insane, haunting laughter of the monster, blood spreading, his mother's pale skin and lifeless face, but always darkness and the sound of falling rain. That day had been the first time he had felt alone, clutching his mother, begging her to open her eyes, to say something, to come back. Since then, he'd put up blocks, walls, to prevent other closeness. Incase he failed to protect others, as well.

Of course, his family already had a place in his heart. He swore that he would protect them from any more pain, any more suffering, anything that could hurt them, no matter what the cost. He would protect Karin, who seemed so much like him when she kicked someone, or acted indifferent, even if she felt that she didn't need it, because she had stopped crying. He would protect Yuzu, who took care of them all, even though she was the youngest, who couldn't hurt a flea without crying over it, who tried to keep the family cheerful and fed. He would even protect his goat-face father, who, when it really mattered, did give serious advice, who loved Masaki so much and loved his children, even if he had a strange way of expressing it sometimes. But he distanced himself from them, too – not so that he wouldn't grow closer to him, in this case, but because of his crushing guilt.

Only when Rukia appeared did cracks appear in his cement walls. If the people that he'd kept out were a huge ocean, then Rukia was the storm that tossed them into those walls. And cracks appeared, letting people trickle into his heart, slowly at first, then faster. In Rukia, he found a kindred lonely spirit. He had the power to protect now. Rukia became an ally, a comrade, someone that would kick him if he faltered without hesitation, and someone that would always watch his back. Chad and Tatsuki were already close friends, but now Orihime was there, and Uryu, and then Renji and Hanataro and Ganju and Yoruichi and then Ikkaku and Rangiku and… so many new people. He let himself open up a little.

But that was not allowed to last, of course. In order to uphold his vow to protect his family, and, now, all of the others that he'd allowed into his heart, as well as people he'd never even seen but felt responsible for protecting, all the citizens of Karakura – he had to return to a lonely, solitary path. He was cast out – no, he cast himself out of the world that he'd been let into. He rebuilt the walls around himself. Sure, Orihime and Chad and Uryu were still there, but they reminded him of other friends, other comrades. He couldn't see them, couldn't talk to them. And above all, he could no longer protect anyone, be it strangers, friends, or his family, from danger. He supposed his kind of isolation and powerlessness was a just punishment, for failing to protect his mother.

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I'll upload the next two, Renji and Grimmjow, as soon as I can. Reveiws and suggestions for other characters, please!


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